$$ January 2022 $$

someone recently read something I wrote and texted me saying, "I wish you can save yourself from the hardship which comes with this path". I was honestly a little baffled. What could he mean? And I was a little scared as well, not gonna lie.

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days, albeit passively. I think I kind of get what he means. And because I know you are on this path too, I'll share it.

When you open up your heart, you lose out on your defences. You lose the certainty the comes with closures. When you choose vulnerability, you welcome being hurt, being misunderstood, and being treated unkindly. I wish that wasn't the case but it is. It's almost logically coherent. It's understandable.

When you choose to be tender and ambitious, you go against a lot of your own psyche's conditioning. And against that of those you share this life with. You rub against profound patterns embedded everywhere and in everyone. You run the risk of doubting yourself at every turn of life. And you very certainly do it. While you also get constantly tempted by the easier option: going dark. Cheating on your vision with what's comfortable.

So, you see. There certainly is a hardship that comes with this path. As is with any path, I guess. But I think it's worth it because the risk is nothing compared to the depth of life that it brings you, if you so intend. It will be what it be. But at least it will your decision. And there's something about being courageous to take your own decisions.

<aside> 🥰 here is a little bit about me. and if you’d like, you can buy me a coffee here.

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