$$ June 2022 $$

It’s my day 7 of being in the mountains. This was supposed to be a very, very quick trip. I was supposed to leave on Wednesday, then Thursday, and then today. I didn’t. And I’m not leaving tonight, either.

It has been rather wonderful how this trip has unfolded, a cute, little exercise in self-knowing. For my first 2 days here, I was overwhelmed and in my head. I met some people, I barely talked, and I sounded — like my new friend, A puts it — “corporate”. Then around day 3-4, I found my rhythm. Or so I can tell in hindsight. I knew which cafe to go to for breakfast, where I could get dinner I’d like, and whom to call to join me for a meal. I gradually became friends with the baristas, I could exchange “hello’s” with the staff, I found my feet, and slowly I started feeling like I belonged.

Since that day, I have been to a night of live music, a night of dancing with my eyes closed, a walk in the middle of a flag forest, a night of jamming and dancing with absolute strangers, a day full of chatting about life and love and joy and ambition and obligations. I now know the local doggos by their names, I can now walk into a cafe and say “the usual”, and I feel a sense of love for the very inconveniences that I ugh-ed on day 1 here — “a 30 mins walk to the top of this hill? sure”.

I feel more open, especially along the dimensions I haven’t been before. For instance, I met a guy here who does some kind of healing, he recommended I try out a crystal, wear it as a bracelet, and I did. For the sake of it. I don’t know if it’s gonna do anything. But it looks pretty and honestly, I’m just happy that I tried to move beyond the realm of absolutes and dip my feet, albeit a little bit, into the more fluid, more strange aspects of life. It’s nice.

I think what I’m trying to get to here is that when you give things time, when you let the world surprise you, it does. It truly does. And you surprise yourself. I know some things feel too strange and weird, but it’s amazing how fascinating even the strangest of things can be. It’s amazing how much you learn about yourself when you let yourself take time, and let time take time.

It’s too soon to conclude or even hint at any kind of personal, spiritual transformation, but I sense that something has changed in me. And I like the look of it so far.

<aside> 🥰 here is a little bit about me. and if you’d like you can buy me a coffee here.

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